:: don't be deceived ::

change of site!

2006-04-30T07:38:00.000-07:00

Take out your kleenex, Jasmine is moving away from this site! haha nope I'm not deleting this blog, just wanted to have a fresh change =) I will be coming back after a long while (think of crop rotation-omg that's so geog). Anyways, here's my webbie: http://jasmine-fc.blogspot.com/ dun worry if you don't see anything, coz i haven't update mah. ok that's all!

lubbs euu!

Jasmine

i not stupid too

2006-01-30T03:22:00.000-08:00

Yay this is my second entry in 2006, erm after like a month of hiatus?! ohkay nvm. i decided to blog coz i wanted to comment on i not stupid too, a movie i watched just an hour ago. It was so touching! i think i used two pieces of tissue just blowing my nose. and i think shawn lee is so much cuter than joshua ang, so i don't get the hysteria other girls are creating over the latter. WHATEVER. the storyline is almost as good as the first part; there's no breakthrough in ideas and format of presentation. But at least the essence of it is not lost =)

oh i just remembered smth. To kellie: I love you ^(to the power of infinite)! thanks for the pics... i shall print them and laminate it. Yupp i didnt sleep and we were smsing like siao in the dead of the night. Lol.

ohkay dinner's ready. Here i come, abalones!

pre-birthday

2006-01-01T23:34:00.000-08:00

i figured that if i still don't blog, i would most likely forget my password for good. haha so here i am, doing some rants.

yay i'm going to be fifteen tomorrow! but the only thing that will dampen my mood is the fact that i hafta go back to school on my bday. *groans. but this is life i guess.

my new year resolution: to do better, get an average gpa of 3.6, and find a partner fro RS >.<>

boulevard of boredom

2005-11-26T06:41:00.000-08:00

ah. haha i'm here blogging coz i'm waiting for my maple patcher to be downloaded. that crap thing drives me mad. hurry up. and i've been trying to get into aquila for a week. &%@*. nvm.

I'm rotting at home. i wish someone will date me soon, preferably after the first 2 weeks of dec. i know i sound really despo, but whatever. anyways, i've still got to practise for my abacus exam and mug for my jlpt (japanese language proficiency test). so ya, i'll be quite "busy" these few days. sigh.

a consoling thought is, i won an America's Next Top Model baby tee! haha that's so freaking cool. but problem is, i hafta go all the way down to ang mo kio. hai what a chore. can't they just send to my doorstep? oh no cannot be lazy otherwise will put on weight and look fatter when school reopens. power to slim bodies and frnech manicures!

guide chalet

2005-11-19T06:54:00.000-08:00

okay i know this is super outdated but i'm going to blog abt the guide chalet anyway. Yep it was supposed to last for 5 days, before we couldn't last till fri so we left on thursday haha.

first i took mrt to meet the others to go to aloha loyang. then we had to wait for a looong time for the shuttle bus to come. aiyah. so we started playing stupid games like black sheep-white sheep and high tide. lol. isa was super siao. but thank goodness we didn't have to wait till dark and we soon arrived.

my first impression was: wow, so big and clean! like exclusive private houses. then jiayue gently reminded me that aloha IS a terrace. heh so malu. once we were in the house, we put down our stuff and explored the rooms. They weren't very impressive so i didn't take any pics of them. but i think what rocks was the sweeping view of the pool we had from our living rm. as in, you just have to look out and you can see pple playing/swimming in the pool. haha i think i spotted a few eye candies. ohkay ignore that. then we went to the beach and i took lots of pics =)

later that night, we had bbq dinner. the sec ones and YAs were in-charge of setting up the pit and starting fire. then the rest of us went to cook the spagetti and warm up the tomato sauce, both of which we didn't even finish in the end. coz we ordered canadian pizzas. they were the pepperoni and hawaiian one. *yumyum. when's the last time i ate pizzas? it was so delightful.

that night was exciting. coz i was taught how to play bridge! yay it's such a fun game and it will be such a shame if you didn't know how to play it. haha i shall teach the fivians at guide chalet then everyone can stay up from 11pm to 6am playing bridge like what we did during guide chalet! :)) my shi-fu is jiayue, and i'm certified by our darling yijun, who's nicknamed the queen of bridge. she's so super zai kay. once she starts plaiyng no trumps, we can also admit defeat liao. but anyway, i still passed her testing. yay!

yup for the next few days we did lots of stuff like cycling, bitching, talking, singing to karaoke cds, watching concert vcds... etc. pretty much fun. but the only i regretted was i still can't ride a bike >.<

i would also commend our dear sec threes, who had worked hard in the kitchen to cook us delicious home-cooked dinner! yay kudos to yijun cheryl and mich! i love the eggs vege and sardines. but the chinese sausages went a little wrong... but it was still great nevertheless.

i'm a bit disappointed with some people who can't seem to keep their promises and take responsiblities. i won't mention any name, but we know who we are talking about. sighs.

all in all, the chalet is a success coz i got to bond with pple i wasn't so familiar with and found out that they're friendlier and warmer than what they appeared to be. this is so assuring. and i know another sec one coz we won bridge together! haha =)

yup c'est tout!

my sparkling star: wonder how you're doing? i miss you... but i don't think you've read my blog anytime soon. do you feel the same way as i do? i can't wait to see you next year. i guess i will give you your bday present and as usual, you'll forget mine. ohwell.

guides chalet- 5 mins before setting off

2005-11-13T21:25:00.000-08:00

yay! i'm setting off for aloha loyang pool terrace in 5 mins' time. hope we will all have fun! oh wish me have a good time there. I'll miss you all! *kisses

maplestory!

2005-11-06T06:46:00.000-08:00

haha just blogging for a while before mapling again. yay i finally got into aquila. can just die from the waiting. so i managed to reach lvl 7 in 2 hours' time? not bad huh. coz got exp mah. yay i love maplestory! pple who don't know what to do during hols shld try this game. the monsters are so cute and not scary at all. oh and all the goodies you will get after killing snails, mushrooms, tree tunks and pigs and completing quests- they're fab! so i would strongly encourage all of you to join the fun mapling. bye!

robolab

2005-11-04T11:46:00.000-08:00

yo. this is gab here. i am currently frustrated about robotics and being stuck here. and sorry to disappoint you, i did not get stuck because i am fat.

that was gab. we're in the raffles rm. and the teacher is teasing me abt the container. wth. how the hell am i supposed to know it's smth in the nqc (which, when read very fast, sounds like ntuc). LoL. ohkay. i'm super confused abt the commands and symbols. my head is just filled with pics i see in maplestory last night. haha i shall tell baoli i finally downloaded that thing.

i am back here again. haha. gab here. I AM CHAO BORED. containers containers. blah blah blah. how BORING. i wonder why i ever entered the robotics club. i was an aimless and confused individual then i guess. hohoho. i am still hopping mad at the fact i have to attend these two lessons as a refresher course. but seriously, i have forgotten EVERYTHING. HAHAHA. bully for them (lol). i cannot wait for the progress reports to be given to us. heck i cannot be bothered about positions anymore because i have "deproved" for the whole of this semester. THANK YOU THANK YOU. i am just going to HECKCAREEE. BAH. they just announced that we have to go back to class to get our progress report, which is so retarded. why can't they just give it back to us straightaway? they just adore dilly-dallying. that's their modus operandi. ahwell. i have no high hopes of my gpa this year. haha. i am a big fat loser. but anyway, there is NO cul-de-sec in life, no end-of-the-road, just a road less taken. HOHO. i am trying to look on the bright side of life. xD maybe i should become a TRAILBLAZER>>YAYYY okay i have taken up a lot of space electronically on jasmine yam's blog. maybe i should pay rent fee. HAHA. OKAY BYEBYE.

um. bloggers block again. i guess. hey wadeva. my thinking is as slow as my typing. yay. wait. sm pple in class still haven't written in my book yet. i shall get them to later on. before the video i guess. (stop i guessing can. bad habit lor. like me. refer above. xD anyway this is gab. hah. btw, jasmine yam should pay me for taking up space here when she has a blogger's block. hohohohohohoho. xD)

okay this is gab again. BYEBYEEEE.

jasmine wants me to tell you blog readers of her blog that this robotics session is greek to her, and if given a chance she wouldn't sign up for such a course at all. LOL. GOOD. HAHA. i am supportive of this, although it makes me sound like a traitor of the robotics club. hOHOHO. my typing is gettng erratic, so i better go awayyy. byebye. THE END of POST number ??

new updates

2005-10-31T06:20:00.000-08:00

haha i'm feeling happy and pleased with life right now. [read: no more suicidal attempts]anyway, reply tags first.

gab: okay i'm updating now mans! haha nice math trail we had. i like richard, like TOTALLY! oh i just realised you are most frequent visitor on my blog. shld have a prize for you haha. oh sheesh i just rmbed i owed yajie a milky bar. uh-oh.

yingjing: haha i'm really better now. yay i love long john's! haha we can have a private time, just husena you and i. yup. and must order combo 1 with me kay? lol.

vinna: yes my baby. love me times infinite =)

char: you keep quiet lar. you were so loud until she turned back. ohman. i swear my red face was radiating heat. ohwell.

eudora: hey btw, when's ms chan's wedding? we can be wedding crashers. haha not in the bad sense la. just wanna hype things up. =)

hey can pple see this? ohkay shld be. ah blog abt what ah? i'm having a blogger's block. ohkay that kinda sounds cool. wadeva. i'm just feeling excited and anxious abt tmrw. coz we are going JB haha. can stock up on my supply of earrings again. oh actually, i don't mind getting earrings for bday presents. *hint-hint. yeah... anxious coz i haven't sewed my swallow patrol emblem on my guide uni. and i dunno how to sew the stripes. how? HELP! oh. do you think i can just use scotch tape? err... maybe jiaying won't see it. no wait, if she does, i'll be so maluated. ohkay better not take the risks.

crap. my mum says the JB trip is postponed. wtf. i was just happily talking abt it just now. fine. oh GOH! haha guess what? YENLIN is doing goh too! *cue for fanatic screaming* haha dun freak out yet. otherwise i forget all the check-up-check-down stuff. but it's like so super cool! yay! and thinking of long john makes me super happy too =)

i hate my mum! now she tells me she's going with my dad on wed coz my dad can't take leave on another day. and i can't skip skl that day coz got ~~yenlin~~ goh and sec4 farewell. %*&^. argh. this ~~sucks~~ doesn't rock. but never mind. i still have my genting and kl trip to look forward to. haha. i keep thinking of sijia at the exhibition hall. so paiseh. i wish... nvm.

ohkay is this gd enough on updating my blog? i think i could do with a lesson or two to blog abt smth gd. mine has always been so random. sighs.

-none-

2005-10-10T07:24:00.000-07:00

This is for someone special, so i will really appreciate if you don't read the following if you're not that person. thanks!

To my Sparkling Special Star:

Yep, this entry is specially dedicated to you.

I don't know where to start. It seems as if i've known you for a very long time but i know that's not true, especially coupled with the fact that we didn't talk/see each other a lot for this year.

I didn't know when i stopped talking to you. I think i was very stressed and depressed at that time and all i wanted was to shut off from everyone, including my good friends. I have always wished that i could just "leave this town and run forever" to a secluded island, to where i can be alone by myself. And i still have this wish now.

I'm very sorry for being like that. i didn't really know how you felt. I realised that I had been insensitive to other people's feelings. Like how I've hurt vivian. But that's besides the point. The point is, beacuse of that, we stopped being friends for a while. That's why i was so hesitant about sending you the sms today.But i needed to know, i needed to try. I was immensely relieved when you replied. Because i was half-hoping that i could salvage something out of this situation.

Oh ya I almost forgot to mention about the smile you gave me. I'll remember it for life. Because it meant a lot to me. Hours before that, i was just thinking about how i could pay an early visit to heaven. But thank goodness i met you and alicia, otherwise i would have done something real silly.

I guess alicia's right. I realise, at the end of the day, apart from all the posts you hold and the "dao" attitude you have, you're just... like any of us.Someone who faces the same problem, someone who needs friends to go through difficult times with, and someone who may get hurt. It suddenly dawned on me that by suddenly breaking off from you, you might have felt a little surprised (and hurt?) I realised that you're not made of metal. I know it sounds weird, but i've always think that you are someone who is so strong, able to shrug off unpleasant things easily and move on with life. And i really admire that quality of yours.

thank you, shuting, for all the times we shared and the friendship we have.

I don't know how i would fare in the eeee-oh-whys, but even if my mum still wants me to transfer school at the end of the year, i know I have no regrets.

silent

2005-09-25T08:42:00.000-07:00

this post is quite personal, so pls try not to read through it. even if u did, don't ask me anything about it unless you are... nvm.

to youu, my friend.

have it ever occured to you that things aren't the same as before? i can't believe how you can go on living as if everything's normal. but you didn't realise the person next to you is suffering. she is sad, she is crying inside but it's not because of an insignificant history test-- she can't even find someone to share her pain. and with the major change in the seating arrangement, i felt apprehensive. i don't know how to face you. ever since you've found your new friends, we began to drift from each other. and now it has even come to the stage whereby i'm just so tired that i don't feel like talking to you.

do you know that my wish is that i can come to school each day and not have the urge to cry? every morning has become a torture to me. each time i'm about to step into the class, i can always imagine how i'll be in class-- pretending to concentrate on what the teacher is saying but actually i just want to disappear from the face of this earth. while you are happily talking to your partner, calling each other affectionate names. and it hurts, coz i feel so left out. i guess since we've not been together for quite a while, that's why we don't get to know about each other.

that's why i decided to ask dez if she minded exchanging seats. and you blatantly refused. your refusal dashed all my hopes. i was thinking that f i can't talk to you, then maybe i can try talking to dez. do you know how painful it is to have no one to turn to? and when you are lost and want someone to talk to immediately, you have no choice but to keep it to yourself or just confess all your troubles in front of an inanimate photograph. have you ever spared a thought for others? have you been sensitive to other people's feelings? if you don't treat me as a friend anymore, then tell me so.

all these while, i give you a heart full of holes. full of holes, because i wanted to give you the freedom to have other friends too. i don't want to tie you down, and i hope we talk it over coz i don't want to be tied down by you too.

for the moment, let's all pretend everything's fine.

prentence

2005-09-20T19:56:00.000-07:00

stop pretending that eveything's all right when it's not, when i know it's not and when you yourself know it's not. don't play dumb. can't you feel that the feeling is different? although we are sitting near to each other[i wont mention how near], but we didnt even talk much right? sitting at the corner meant that i only had yajie to talk to or perhaps i can have a convo with my bag.

the first thing you said to me all morning was, "pass this to lisa" and when i helped you during history, the second thing you said was, "thank you". see, i remembered everything.

lesson time had become the most antagonising time for me coz i've got phobia sitting beside you. I wish we didn't have to make this decision. I know i made a wrong one.

but meanwhile, i shall just remain invisible to you.

Our Cheer!

2005-09-17T08:03:00.000-07:00

yay! below is the cheer made by group 5, which consisted 3rd coy mynah,oriole and swallow [hope i got that right]. And, this cheer was done in 15 mins' time! how pro can we get?! haha shall not be egoistic anymore. here's the cheer.

I am a raffles girl guide

Let me show you how we fight

'Coz we are so bright with light

Together we will unite

Now you know raffles girl guide

Next time don't you say good bye

Together we will unite

'Coz we are so bright with light

Let me show you how we fight

I am a raffles girl guide

Now you know raffles girl guide

Next time don't you say good bye.

yeah. who wants to say good bye to another friend? i'm just very sad and confused now. nvm.

sec 2 batch meeting!

2005-09-09T07:05:00.000-07:00

ohkay note to all pple who are going to tag: pls don't! coz i don't want to lose cheryl's tag >.<>

haha i know i'm one day late in blogging abt the events of the batch outing but ohwell nvm. it's so fun! although in the start... let's start from the very start. [that sounds very dumb]

yawn. looks at alarm clock. hmm?! i'm 15 min late! cheongs ard the house trying to make milo but cant find any hot water left from last night. so i had to drink room-temp one. yikes. then i set off for the bus stop, found out that my ez link card has no more money, so used coins. sheesh. after that, i decided to sms yunting to see where she is. great. she's there liao. and ailin xinying rachel mich were there too. so paiseh they had to wait for me and jiayue >.<

then we walked to the bus interchange, figured out that 197 [supposedly] brings us to east coast park so we boarded it. we were super naive to believe that stupid bus would bring us to ecp [east coast park for short] right at the door step. so in the end, we had to walk through this chao wu-lu pathway leading to the underpass, walk along the highway, before seeing sm kind of signs that indicated the presence of a coast. ohkay fine correct liao. but how come wed dont see the usual macs/7-eleven at marine cove? which means that we are at the wrong place. which means that we are LOST!

so yunting decided to call nat and whine how we are lost and stuff. but it's not really helpful, so we decided to ask this auntie at the bicycle kiosk. [hey that's the only civilised thing we saw kays!] there she told us that we are at the bedok part of the ecp! and to get to the marine cove part, it's 45 MINUTES by foot or 20 MINUTES by bicycle. haha trying to get business from us. but we walked anyway. and we took turns to carry my ice box, which was heavy. i carried it throughout the east-west line kay! damn jaded.

half-way walking, we saw denise nat and isa! on bicycles! haha our rescuers =) but i couldnt cycle so i had to walk on sumore. but at least got isa accompanying me. ohkay i shall dedicate this part to isa: thanks so much for being by my side, as we sang all those songs which weijian had sung, yi shi de mei hao by kelly, [gasp!!] and squealing over takuya kimura. rmb to catch "Pride-bing shang han jiang" on Mon and Tue, 7.30pm, on Channel U. [haha mediacorp didnt pay me this to advertise la] yups. it's so cool to talk to you while strolling along the beach, talking abt anything that comes to mind. it's so nice [and hard] to be able to talk to sm like that, without any pressure to put up a pretence. oh and thanks for telling me the thing abt jiaying. otherwise i wouldnt have known how she really felt abt me. i guess some feelings can't be forced to be mutual. haha nvm abt her. yeah isa my right and left hand woman! wo bu neng mei you ni.

yay and we met all the rest at macs and we ate lunch there. yun and nat suddenly went high and became trigger-happy. i was trying my best to avoid their flashes coz i think super gross when i eat >.<>

that's when the trouble begins. I, Jasmine Yam, stands before you, a ripe fourteen years of age, does not know how to ride a bicycle. i know that sounds really dumb, but the last time i sat on anything that has wheels was when i was 5 years old [excluding trains buses and cars la duh!] and the bike had 3 wheels sumore. so you can imagine my terror when they suggested cycling. bleargh. thanks goodness rach was being such an angel and didnt mind cycling on a double. AND SHE'S SO SUPER ZAI. even though we had the ice box in the front basket [with half of the whole supply of food in it now], rach still managed to keep her [or rather, our ] balance withou falling at any point of time. haha i was gripping the rubber handle so hard that my knuckles were white. most of the time i was looking at the pedals to make sure that my cycling is in sync with rach. aiyoh damn jia-lat. didnt even have time to look up to enjoy scenery. rach was talking smth abt coniferous trees while on our way...

we stopped by the jetty to take a break [and pictures too actually]. haha we also asked this guy to help us take a group pic. yay i think we all look so chio, with the sparkling blue sea in the background. haha our batch rocks! yup so after returning our bikes, we split up to go and buy the charcoal for that day's bbq. on the way, we kept talking abt some *ahem poseur guys, who are so desperate for attention. please la, do you know you all are really put-offs? argh.

yeah so by the time we bought everything we needed, we lugged all the stuff to bbq pit 15. and from the place we started, it was only pit 26. sighs. imagine our plight mans. 6 kg of charcoal and the super heavy icebox. if not for chermaine and becky who helped us halfway, we all could have died from over-exhaustion. as mich had put it, it was exercise for us treasurers! haha i bet i'll have sexy arms from all that carrying of the valuables every week ^.^

so we finally reached there and then we took off our shoes to go down on the beach while some stayed back to take care of our bags and materials. hmm the sea was quite... polluted. could see some stuff floating on the water surface. cher was contented with picking seashells, while i was just standing on the tide line, enjoying the coolness of the water. then i noticed weiting seemed very upset so i decided to cheer her up by challenging her to see who can throw the stones the farthest into the sea. i was hoping that by throwing, she could open up and talk. but she didnt say much. it didnt really matter, coz i'm just glad to see her smile =)

oh i almost forgot. i wrote "RG Guides 010203" on the sand and got cher to take a pic of it. haha it was so pretty. heh i also wrote "jiaying rocks", but that weiting went to step on it and smoothen it. heh. that jiaying. shld have written "jiaying you airhead". qi si wo le!

beck also attempted to climb on the tree, with us helping her a little. haha i was like "hey! the first woman to climb a tree in singapore!" ohkay that's spastic but we all had fun. finally, the rest of them returned from cycling and sashayed to the pit. nat was trying to disguise her face behind a wire mesh. LOL. after more fooling at the beach and building that disgusting model with the distinct pair of *ahem rounded assets, we took a pic of it in memory of our perverted masterpiece. char also mentioned abt breaking up with me, coz i was singing yi shi de mei hao with her and we were holding hands and stuff. girlfriend dont be so jealous la. bet you're scandalous behind my back too >.<>

we started our bbq at ard 4.30pm. first we figured where to position the firestarters and stuff, thanks to nat and my brains. [heh ego sia] it was pretty fun tending to the fire, making sure that the fire had enough charcoal to feed it, arranging the charcoal so as to create as much embers as possible for the cooking of potatoes and apples wrapped in aluminium foil. haha thanks to all those who bothered to come and feed your humble fire-woman. [hehe i'm naturally hot] i think i like the party wings the best. all thanks to yen, who saved our stomaches by bringing more edible food. i think she's a great cook too! haha the sausages were a failure man. some were chao ta, some werent even properly cooked. icks. so gross. but i think everyone got to eat smth at least =)

nearing the end of the party, me isa and my dear vinna [!] walked all the way to macs coz isa la du zi. haha so vinna and i decided to go 7-eleven to buy drinks for the thirsty ones. oh and we started talking to them. isa was saying how great it feels to be able to cycle. as in, although we were cycling in a whole group, but actually one is quite alone.then you'll feel very free and it can be very liberating. i was so wowed. and inspired to take up cycling lessons. erm but before that, i think i shld take rach's advice and find my sense of balance...

heh i still cant forget yen nat char and yun talking abt thongs *ahem tongs. you pple are super sick. haha too bad xian is not here. otherwise she'll be saying hello to all those guys around. haha yun's orange guy. cant stand u all mans.

yepps so that's all abt the batchmeeting. there may be stuff i forgot, so you can go to other batchmates' blogs to see. sayonara! love ichigo to bits and pieces!

aching legs

2005-09-06T07:26:00.000-07:00

sheesh. my legs hurt like hell. must be from the afforestion project. i'm super dead tired. and scared. watched the maid with my mum and dad. it's was so puer freaky bcoz of the dark scenes, twists in plot, and very loud sound system. haha there were moment which i watched the movie through the spaces between my fingers. ohkay i admit i'm like chicken mcnuggets. eeps.

oh yes. i bought kai yan's prezzie! so now i only owe char's letter... and vien's bdae is coming too. and my parents' wedding anniversary. i wanna go sakura to eat! whee i miss the fish roe sushi. haha i noe that sounds super gross.

oh gab: i love the chocolate heart so much! i think i can just let the chocolate decompose in the little container. i mean, how can i bear to eat it up? it's our ding qing xing wu... heh i bet you dont noe what that means but nvm.

yay! my mum's not checking on me yet. shall blog more. takuya kimura! did u all see on channel u, 7.30pm (Pride, bing shang han jiang)? omg he's so spuer shuai! i dont mind being his temporary girlfriend. correction, i will die to do so. haha. i shant be disloyal to my new fave.

*blushes-blushes* he smiled at me when i entered the room. can just faint with love. at that moment, i felt as if a beam of spotlight from heaven was shining on us. so blessed!

my superstar

2005-09-01T08:36:00.000-07:00

to my princess:

don't worry that you lost- what's more important is that you've gained the hearts of everyone who loves you. continue to work hard and i'll be looking forward to your next album. kelly jiayou!

striping

2005-08-19T08:39:00.000-07:00

striping. a lump comes to my throat whenever i think of it.

initially, i had mixed feelings abt it. i was feeling high coz we are gonna perform our song + cute actions, and nervous coz i didnt know whether i will be getting a post.

then we formed the horseshoe.it was so squeezy. anyways, a lot of people cried, both the outgoing and in-coming ones. i started tearing when i saw gina cry. she was trying to put on a brave front. i think she's a really good senior. we all love her mans.

then after we were dismissed, i started saying "brenda..." and then the tears started flowing and my mouth quivered and we all started bawling like babies in the middle of the netball court. i couldnt stop. i think i cried more this time than all the times i cried for the past few years.

i cried because i didnt cherish the times we had with the sec 4s. esp bren and liling, my patrol members. usually during patrol corner, we are basically stoning or talking abt superficious stuff like school homework, "how was your day" and so on. i didnt feel... close to them. but then i was wrong. when we stepped out, we all started crying. we never told you, but we really miss you a lot. we just didnt show our feelings openly. i just want to say that we love you a lot!

i cried for the people who has a post, coz the sec 4s had to leave before we can get posts. that is like so... but i guess this is an inevitable fact. nothing is forever. probably except "change".

i cried for myself, coz i'll be leaving my felloe orchidians and becoming a swallow. not only did i change patrol, i changed coy too. i really miss my sec 1s...nattay must take care of them k?

i cried for my batchmates who had cried too, since we are much closer to this batch of sec4s. thanks to isa, yuxin, vinna, yunting, nattay and many more whom i've hugged and cried together, thank you all!

i cried because i'm so touched by God has planned for me. with His blessings, i know i won't be alone in my journey, thus giving me more confidence in whatever i do. dora, thank you for praying for me. i love you! god bless you too.

i cried coz i cant believe i'm the 3rd coy treasurer. actually i wanted to be a QM, but i heard that i was voted as a secretary. haha it turned out that i'm a treasurer. and alicia said she felt so happy to be the one striping me. heh. ohyes. to shimin+michelle: let's work together hand in hand. but before that, i shall learn the ropes from sarah.

to yiwen+lipin+liling: dont worry, i promise i will do my very best, no matter how bleak the road ahead may seem, i will overcome the obstacles with your encouraging words. be assured that i will never let you down. and i will take full responsilibility for everything i do. i hope that i can set a good example for my new sec ones. i really want to contribute to guides in my little way.

i'll miss gina and yishan, our funny but firm foot drill i/c. wonder who is going to be our footdrill i/c next year? haha. her 90 degrees is super zai la! we shall jiayou too, aim for gold.silver and earn many profi badges! together, i know we can do it.

i love my batchmates! let's break the no. of pga awardees' record too!

oh and i took lots of pics. this one has extra meaning to me... i think those who know me well will understand why =)

ohkay i look super spas but nvm. then can "cheng tuo" jiaying's beauty. yun and char are looking extra. like two "bright lightbulbs". *ahemahem. sry yunting ah.

omg is my face red? i'm hyperventilating again. ohkay whatever. another *ahem is in my patrol! cool sia. i'm dying to tell my manager. she'll just laugh like sia. somethings are just destined in life i guess.

some people get it easily while others had to work doubly to earn the same affection. i'm so envious of yun.

that guy who caught my eye

2005-08-14T08:28:00.000-07:00

why did you come so late? so that i'll take extra notice?

i admit that my eyes cant help but stray to you. and your clothes scored full marks. orange shirt. and red shoes. are you trying to impress me? i'm flattered.

ohkay stop looking back. stop it, stop it. i'm going to blush liao.

rejection

2005-07-27T16:16:00.000-07:00

I’m not crying physically, but my heart’s bleeding. Have you ever tasted rejection? Well it’s not that I didn’t get through the interview or smth, but even before I can fill up the recruitment form, it’s already a straight “No.” from my mum.

I took a while to digest. I couldn’t believe it. How can I expect other people to give me a chance when even my own mum doesn’t give me one? The only consoling thought is that at least I’ve not given up hope on myself, I still have faith in what I can do.

I really want this badly. Perhaps that is why I’m tearing. I like being with people, making friends and stuff. But SHE says that it’s a very wu liao commitment. Ohkay, so I’m supposed to just study, get a good grade and move on with jc life. But this is not what I want. I want something memorable that I can bring along with me when I leave the school. After all, there’s much more to life than just grades right? I really feel that I will have more exposure and learn more new things. And SHE has to deprive me of that.

There she was, asking me if I wanted my supper. I said no, but I didn’t tell her it’s because I had no appetite. Did she know she just dashed the hopes of a young girl, and now she still has the mood to eat? I’m so disappointed by my unsupportive…

Rejection by friends, fear of rejection… but nothing beats the rejection by our own loved one.

new revelations

2005-07-24T08:42:00.000-07:00

yay "going hiatus" for a while, i'm back to talk about my life. [listens to radio: jolin tsai!] anyway, i was saying, this week had not been too bad. just math assignments and chn pt. not very stressful.

oh yes racial harmony day. as expected, when i went home sporting the weird henna design on my hand. my mum's eyes bulged coz she thought it was a tattoo. for the benefit for those pple who dont know, my mum is anti-tattoo. she once said that she rip that part of the skin if i come home one day with a tattoo. whoa scary sia. but tattoos are not that nice anyway. when i'm older, i would like to have 6 earholes on each side. haha my ear would probably be dripping with diamonds by then.

on rhd, i wore this BRIGHT PINK baju kurong which mel lent me. ohwell it's better than wearing pinafore right? and i lovee my blue bangles! although they suited yun better since she's wearing blue. haha. our class was so colourful! there were green [limin], pink [me + jolene], blue [yile + yun + lijie + yajie], white? [gab]. and we took lots of photos. oh ya havent got the grp ones from yun. heh.

mans. i think i'm going to miss miss soon real soon. [ohkay bad pun]. hmm her quirky antics, flamboyant dressing and heck-care attitude... where on earth can you find such a funky teacher? and she loves us too! she mentioned abt our class in her blog =) haha 205's so sweet to her!

oh no. my recycling box. any ideas for decorating the box SO THAT IT WOULD ATTRACT PEOPLE TO THROW RUBBISH IN? what a weird task... in the first place, the class should be educated abt throwing recycable stuff into the box. so what if the box is made of gold? u really think the fivians would be motivated to throw their stuff into the box coz they enjoy looking at the box?! this is ridiculous. and i have to do this. *cries

almost forgot. reply tags.

gab: can u dont be so gan cheong can or not? i go online for like twice a week, each time half an hour. how do you expect me to talk online, check 2 email accounts, do [st***d] congress surveys and still go tagging?! must book appoinment earlier mah!

105spy: aiyoh do your job and once again, keep a low profile. oh yes i'll tell you abt the latest update. so exciting >.<

jolene: ohkay will link u as long as this comp doesnt crash. haha.

peiting: wah got blog ah? cool man. i go check it out later.

erm i think that's all right?

to xinning: i'm really grateful for what you have done for me... to just lend me a listening ear. haha tofu? ohkay you can call me that i dont mind. heh tofu jas. so funny. but i'm NOT that "niang" in real life la. and midnight walks ARE romantic. whee~ btw, i'm gonna write you a letter soon. and that her too. *ahem. it's going to be awkward... but i'll put aside all that pressure thingy and say everything on my mind.

- look out for major changes in the month of August. no, not bcoz of National Day la u toot. thematic blog-

math pt can rip liao

2005-07-11T09:06:00.000-07:00

haha just like what yingjing had said... our math pt is finally finished and we can let it rot in peace. LOL. all those sleepness nights, numerous meetings, and lots of love and care among us, the fruit of our labour is finally out. i'm so proud of my pt k! it looked super professional. haha =)

oh yes reply tags.
yajie: i dont believe you actually found my blog! and what happened to the one you created last time? if you need help in blog skin can always come and look for me... hehe
gab: last warning k. if you want to tag, make sure it's valid and it MAKES SENSE! and you, especially you, can only tag thrice the max. to prevent overflooding of my tag. too bad i cant build a dam over your fingers. lol. yesyes i want to take geog with ya! i think i'll be damn fun! my senior was talking abt her uk trip. think of young Brit hunks. *breathes* [told you i was straight...]
xinning: xinnig darling! hai somehow i just dont seem to catch you online. my hours are always very irregular... i'll be online like from 10pm onwards.unless there're sm work that requires me to surf the Net, i wouldn't come online early. ohwell nvm la. i can talk to you anytime as long as *ahem* and another *ahem* are not around you. whee~ i just rmbed. you are going for handbell concert too! cya then!

phew. that's a lot to say just replying tags. haha i promised gab that i will dedicate a prt of this entry to her. Thanks gab, for being such a good friend, supporting me both physically and emotionally. yeah.. like today when i was almost on the verge of tears abt my strained relationship with my mum, i knew i could talk to you and that you would understand. i really felt much better instead of bottling up. perhaps that was the reason i snapped so easily these few days. i... forget it. oh. and my mum stil asked me which school i wanted to transfer to. she said that you gave me enough face coz i got to choose the choice of my school. i pretended i didn't hear. i dont think i can adapt to a totally new environment again. i know i will miss you all lots. even pple i detest. sighz. even if i have to leave, i want to leave with happy memories and memorable friendships.

-that's all for gab's part-

yess... i read the emaill this morn. sry i needed the entire day to sort out my thinking. erm i dont feel like emailing you back.. i shall let you see my beautiful handwriting. haha just bear with me for another 4 months...i shall elaborate in the letter. i wont let this small setback affect our friendshop.

jas-kissers rock!

hp-hp-hp-hp-hp-hp- all of you are winners in your own rights

2005-07-08T08:20:00.000-07:00

Oops… guess it’s been a long time since I’ve last blogged. First thing first- joo hui’s birthday! Lol. Anyways, today sucks like totally. All bcoz of the hp campaign and speeches. Prefects are super troublesome pple.

I like nardia’s and aj’s speeches! Although aj sounded a bit aggressive… oops I meant she IS aggressive. I still rmb how she was like last yr while we were playing a friendly match with her class. Freaky. Haha gab dun be too worked up k. and dun spam my board again. Thank you.

Haha guess I’ll support aj cozz she’s very vocal too. Plus, she’s the only one who put a sticker on me personally. Dotz. And jiakang too! Whee~ xinning I think you are so spontaneous lor. I was just joking and then before I knew it, you and yingjing were dragging me across the canteen to see her. Biang eh. Very maluating can. Eeps.

Wah. I don’t want class detention… it’s not very our fault k… but I know we should have been more responsible. Ohwell just treat it as a class bonding activity. Always look on the bright side of life =)

Guides was fun today! Haha instead of the dog-and-bone, jiaying managed to creatively include elements of footdrill into it, coining the term “footdrill dog-n-bone”. Lol bet she likes marching a lot >.<>

Vinna kissed me today! Haha she’s a better kisser! I admit I’m not much of a kisser though. And stupid Yvonne pushed me from behind so I was like *muawh+ a little bit of saliva*. The second one was better. It least I made a point to make the kiss drier. Lol.

To all members of JFC [Jasmine Fan Club], When are we going to have a MGM [monthly general meeting]? My secretary, pls co-ordinate. Oh yes must praise you for the beautifully designed book. I’ll promote you to senior sec in our 1st MGM. Hahaha

-ohkay-

To ms cultured-drink: Fine k. it’s all my fault ohkay. I should have kept my mouth shut so as not to break your glass heart. Trust you of all people to talk to me abt hypocrites. Anyway, I don’t care already. Being too involved doesn’t help. Oh and if you are reading this and are abt to tag smth, STOP! If you tag anything I cut off all communications with you. Come to think of it, I’m not anyone significant to you anyway. No big deal if you get one vote less right? I feel very sick when I realise the way you treat me is the same way I treat another person. I’m no more than a mere informant in your eyes.

[[*I'll spread my wings/And I'll learn how to fly/Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye/I gotta take a risk/Take a chance/Make a change/And breakaway...*]]

a mad day

2005-06-27T23:44:00.000-07:00

ohkay where's mrs leuar? after our lunch, we don't see her anymore. apparently, her sec3s are gone. ohwell. that's why i'm here.

yajie is faithfully doing rs. yile n ting are ranking their preferred "shuai" guys. wadevea. my favourites are keanu reeves, elijah wood, edison chen and daniel wu! omg. they're hotter can. anyways.

yj just made the stupidest comment. she sed smth lyk -the-person-i-dont-want-mention- (aka *******) looks like toro coz she looks boyish and toro looks girlish. wth. dont insult toro k? and she also mentioned tt she seems to have disappeared into thin air coz yj didn't see her for a long time. i'm only too grateful if i avoid her for a day.

different people, different perspective, different opinions. also, different people, different treatment. yj you are so easily fooled. or perhaps i'm just not good enough for her highness.

this is getting dumb. move on in life mann.

[* what's worse than death? to live in silent suffer. what's worse than living that kind of life? to be not loved. what's worse than being unloved? to have unrequited love? *]

i think that having unrequited love is the worst scenario to happen to anyone... when you give a lot, you will subconsciously have higher expectations. but of course, different people, different emotions. when the one you likes is a unfeeling, cold-blooded person...

furst dae oaf skool

2005-06-26T16:56:00.000-07:00

ohwell. bad grammar and all. anyways, just when i was relieving the warmth of the class, the idiot started calling ******, like she needs the whole class to know.

-intermission- ivy's comp started playing music and arina said, "wow. not loud eh" and that statement had us sent into a state of giggling frenzy.

it has been a great start to the term so far. wish i won't meet any unpleasant pple later. g2g~

2005-06-22T23:34:00.000-07:00

hi dis is husena. i realy miss bloggin since my mom keeps makin me delete my blogs. so i shall use jasmine's blog as my temporary blog. yay.

i'm s'pose 2 be doin my math pt bt it's nt my fault jasmine left dis open 4 me 2 waste time on x)

oh 4 d poor pathetic souls hu hv absolutely no idea hu i m, i happen 2 be jasmine's dearest dearest classmate. ok nt realy. maybe juz a dear classmate.

i dunno wad it is wif dear ok. it's juz fun. lyk exclamation marks !!! yay.

i dunno wad 2 write.

i dunno.

i dunno.

i dunno.

i realise i'm obsessed wif sayin i dunno. owell. i dunno y tho.

ok jasmine wans 2 blog agen so bye! x)

hi peeps. i came bac frm malacca. bt i dint bring any souvenirs, sry. i cudn't find any nice ones. owells. malacca is fun. ok it's quite boring. ok it's somewhere in between. just a word of caution. dun ever stay at A'Famosa. unless a) you have tonnes of money and time and energy b) you brought a maid coz the rooms are really dirty c) it's free and you are invited to stay there.

WHY?

coz it's so dirty. ick.

ok hi it's husena. jasmine needs 2 hv some inspiration b4 continuin so i shall take d opportunity 2 blog agen. yay. i've been 2 malacca 2. it's blady boring. owell. maybe it's coz i went wif my primary sch. bt it was borin nonetheless. all those funny historical sites r nt realy fun. dey're borin. maybe coz dey're historic. y cant ppl juz live 4 2day? live 4 d future? wad's wif d past man. no pt cryin ovr split milk wad.

ok i'm ramblin bt waddahell. typical me anw. bloggin is fun. whee~

my eyes r tired of starin at d comp screen. owells. byebyee. =)

jasmine back again. i hate richard hse comm more than i hate my math pt. oops bad analogy. a funny analogy. "she had a deep genuine throaty laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up." and another one. "It hurt the way it hurts when you accidentally staple your tongue to the wall." ohkayy. not funny. husena's not being appreciative of my sense of humour.

note: i don't hate husena, stacey, shihui and dora just bcoz they're from hse comm.

i'm bored. can richard make nicer souvenirs? is there a chance we can switch houses when we are in different classes? yingjing wants to go to the pink house [if richard's converted from blue to pink]. i want orange or purple. lol.

eh drats. i have a very ominous feeling that someone will be after my skin when term starts. (husena: u tink yr skin very nice ah? x)) okayy, my blood then. not that it's very sweet either.

here's a paragraph dedicated to the over-worked, but under-paid chinese rep-- yingjing!
our darhling here is busy doing trial and error for our graph. while hu and i are blogging away. we deserve to be shot. but hey, we are just trying to provide entertainment for our fellow students. -intermission- husena is trying to act smart. anyways.
yingjing, i promise i will buy handbell concert tickets from you. to see ~~jiakang~~ shiny handbells and of course, yj la! haha yingjing's giving up on the math pt.

lastwords from husena: jasmine, yr so sickenin. x)

gadget

2005-03-30T07:55:00.000-08:00

yea. we were doing gadgets during guides. haha finally learnt abt diagonally lashings! all thanks xin wei (: oh and i think coy 2 rocks more! coz we had less people so it's not fair k. but at least we help each other mah.

i so totally love xinning mann. thanks darhling!
ha. and i bitched abt alicia's classmates in front of her. the best part was she didn't even minded a bit. lol

guess that's all. ny his test sucks. didn't get full marks when i could lor. stupid conclusion. bah. go sleep now. that loser's online.

in the bedroom

2005-03-26T07:03:00.000-08:00

Ha. My latest entry like in dunno how many weeks?! Sigh shan’t blog abt guide/lib camps, they happened long time ago and if you want to know you can always go to other guides’/librarians’ blogs. Yup… and I think I won’t mention abt cath-high campfire [also affectionately named as CHC].

School’s starting and I’ve finished all my homework, except his n philo assignments. Capital punishment. I rmb doing tt in primary school. Primary 6 I think. It was a debate but I wasn’t one of the debaters so I didn’t take down notes on it. Wasted.

I’m bored now. I just realized how I hate people nowadays ): haha am infatuated with the word- bitch. Actually it’s not a bad a word. It just stands for Babe In Total Control of Herself. Oh like when I saw that no 1 bitch at the same bus stop, I was so pissed k. but nothing could spoil my mood of taking neoprints (:

Simple plan! If I can get their concert tickets, I’m gonna bring yunie along. If I get them, that is. Ohwell chances are minimal. But I shall keep believing.

Hmm. A lot of people still owe me letters, photos, etc. but I’m too tired to ask from them. Crap. Just hope they will send me asap. I’m dying of boredom.

Heh. My current obsession is rcy’s sec 3 ma’ams. Some of them are really scandalous… haha hope they won’t come after my blood if they see this. Anyway I think some of them are *ahem naturally cool. K she’ll noe what I mean =)

I’m so mad with yaru. She went home with *ahem. As in, walk behind her after swim carn. And she didn’t help me take pics of her. Aiyoh.

Oh I almost forgot. My bangles from little India! Haha thanks char for choosing the blue one instead of hot pink [just bcoz she likes it doen’t mean I have to like it too k!] and Jolene for paying it for me first. Lol I can’t believe I’ll be wearing them… hai >.<

Yawn. Should I get music for this blog? I’m feeling lazy. Forget it. Shall furnish the blog sumore.

judo-ka

2005-02-27T16:31:00.000-08:00

haha ignore my title- i was just thinking of limin's judo competition on sun... oh and rcy footdrill comp on sat. we won 2nd! my *ahem is right-hand marker leh! lol =)

ahh. flash is driving me up the wall. i just can't find the cursor to move the words, friendster page won't load, blah blah blah. and my mortal found out who i am now. heh. it wasn't those grand type of formal meeting. more of me being dragged, and ruici covering her face. i hope she doesn't mind...

her hair is nice! not like the jerk's one at least. haha char has bad judgement. watever la.

happy thinking day!

2005-02-20T17:24:00.000-08:00

haha am in comp lab now =) when i entered, mr chia actually said, "Happy founder's day!" to me! lol. It's actually thinking day, but i didn't correct him la. oops. i just remembererd. i didn't say anything and just walked away! ahh. ohkay perhaps just my dao look at work again >.<

I think guides rock the parade square today! generally we all did well. haha although i moved a bit. and then when we lift up our hand for the promise, my arm burned. sigh. but i loved it! looking forward to being Guard Of Honour during Founder's Day. just hope that we can watch the performance. the gym pple are really zai =)

i love my guide uni! although i have to wear it to library later. rats. the seniors better not laugh. esp *****. fine.

darn teacher coming. g2g.

hse practice

2005-02-19T08:03:00.000-08:00

hse practise was great today! felt so hyper after hearing all those cheers. the sec1s can afford to be even more enthu! look at hadley! hope the competition will help to spur the richard spirit on =)

anyway, we helpers were supposed to make fish-shaped souvenirs for swim carn. i remembered what xin hui had said once: "the things the helpers do ah... can really make us cough blood lor." sad to say, the hse comm almost did. the string was tied too loosely, the head of the fish was too big, etc. bah. it was hard work, but it's fun to do with yile who's pro at putting just the right amt of styrofoam balls. i was an expert in tying, since i'm in guides mah! haha =)

sry side-track. the point is, we suck at it. so yen lin (!) decided to make a sample. ohman u shld have seen it. so perfect k. and she did it by herself, not as pair work leh. zai. haha and she was so cute. and spontaneous in the sense when i asked to take a pic of her holding the fish, she humoured me and agreed. think of it, which senior will lor? she could have acted cool and walk away. but she did not. oh ya i still got her book with me. haven't read finish >.< ohman i like yenlin!

thanks to everyone who took pics with me: limin, weixia, viff, stacey. i also took a short video clip of the sec1s doing mass dance. haha they were so cute =)

runting looked ill. saw her in the canteen. hope she's alright now.

actually, everything went well until i took the last pic. i still can't believe i actually ASKED her. made me look so despo k. ohman i felt so stressed while taking pic with her. i couldn't even smile properly. probably didn't want too. why did i do that? i must be mad. char was right. why am i so "mei gu qi"? (no backbone). wth. boo. wei shuting, i can live without you k. wadever lor.go take pics with your army of admirers.

woohoo! marching on mon! i rock or what! i live for myself, not for you, gal!

blah

2005-02-18T07:07:00.000-08:00

whee i'm so high now! going for hse prac... and bringing cam tmrw. i've already booked 2 pple to take pic liao. ahaha so kiasu. then i'll be making my way to the indoor stadium for the thinking day rally. cool huh? han jiaying. go with me! sigh.

wow. so late le. n i haven/t iron my richard shirt+ sew my thinking day badge+pin my bronze badge. lol. g2g!